Musing over friendship

I've been thinking about "best friends" since working on a Bible study this am. Do you have a best friend?

I know, Jesus should be our best friend, but I'm thinking one with "skin on," a human best friend. What I really want is a kindred spirit... Someone who shares my faith, who encourages me, who challenges me, who listens to me, who prays with me, who understands me, who has similar interests and someone whom I would do the same for.

Often I wonder why I don't have this type of relationship with anyone, or even a "best" friend.

When I was in high school, I had a best girl friend, but as things usually go, we went our different paths. Also, most of my really good friends were guys. Even in college, I can only think of one girl whom I would have called my "best friend. Again, we went different paths. In my adult years I had someone I considered a kindred spirit, but I wasn't good enough for her I guess, as she just stopped seeing me; yet she never told me what was wrong even when I asked, and I asked for forgiveness if I had offended her.

I have a few good friends, and I value them, but no one that is like what I see some others have. The getting together for the fun of it, dropping by, doing projects together, etc. My friends and I share a Bible study together, and sometimes we do other things together. Perhaps I am envisioning something that is too "ideal".

I know passages of life can hinder relationships. Now, I am at the stage of empty nest and between active caregiving for parents.

I do tend to be a loner. Perhaps that is it. Or is there something wrong with me? I consider myself loyal and honest. Aren't those good traits to have in a friend? Have I put up walls? Afraid to trust? That could be true.

I yearn for a kindred spirit nearby. The one person I consider a kindred spirit lives over 1500 miles away. I am thankful for internet, but it sure is hard to sit down for coffee and chat!

Am I having a pity party? Maybe, but seriously, I'm not looking for pity or sympathy. I'm just thinking out loud. Thoughts that I have from time to time. The fact is, I do get lonely sometimes. My husband is busy and out a lot. Men don't seem to have the same need for friendships as women do.

I know God has a lesson for me in all this. It's a lesson he's been trying to teach me for a few years now. I guess I am just a slow learner!

I just found an interesting article on womens' friendships.

Friendships are a good thing!

I know I am not alone. I have made many good friends through the internet and email lists. I do cherish those. I know there are many among those people who desire the same thing - a real close friend who lives nearby ~ someone they can share the ups and downs of daily life with.

So, tell me. What about you? Are you blessed with a special friendship? How did it happen? Or, are you like me? Are you feeling a little lonely at times and wishing for that special bond with another woman, someone you can call a best friend?

Do you think those in "leadership" positions have a harder time of making a close friend?

"Friendship is a Sheltering Tree" part 2

I decided to share with you the devotional I gave at the secret pal gathering yesterday.

Friendship is a Sheltering Tree

"Flowers are lovely; love is flower-like, friendship is a sheltering tree."
Samuel Taylor Coleridge 1772-1834

I have a tree in my back yard that reminds me of this quote . Though it is not very big, there is something about it's shape that looks so inviting. I thought this quote would be a good topic for our secret pal devotional. I decided to begin by looking up definitions of the words.

Friendship - a relationship between two friends. ** Don’t you hate it when you look up a definition and it uses a word that you have to look up and then that one uses another word and it goes on and on??!! OK, so, what’s a friend? **

**Friend – a supporter, a confidante, a person you know well and regard with affection and trust

One can be a friend to another, but in order to have a friendship, there must be reciprocation. Each one must be a friend to the other. It takes two in order for friendship to exist.

Shelter - to shelter means to cover, to protect from danger, to give security, to defend

Tree – a tree gives shade and protection; it is larger than a bush or shrubs. It is sturdy and strong. It can usually withstand storms and winds.

As I looked at these definitions, I can understand why Coleridge said that friendship is a sheltering tree. A true friendship is one in which each person attempts to be a secure, safe place of refuge for the other, a place of rest and relaxation, one that will remain throughout the storms of life.

In 1 Sam. 20, we have a good example of friendship with Jonathan and David. Although Jonathan would be the likely one to succeed King Saul, he knew that God’s choice was David. Jonathan did all he could to warn and protect David when Saul tried to kill him. They made a vow to each other and David promised to take care of Jonathan and his family/descendants. They were true friends.

As I thought about friendship, I could see that it is a picture of what God desires with us. He is our sheltering tree. He is our protection, our refuge, our security and our defender. David speaks of the shelter he has in God.
Ps 61:3 - For You have been a shelter for me, A strong tower from the enemy.
Ps 61:4 - I will abide in Your tabernacle forever; I will trust in the shelter of Your wings.
Ps 143:9 - Deliver me, O Lord, from my enemies; In You I take shelter.
Joel 3:16 - … the Lord will be a shelter for His people, And the strength of the children of Israel.

God is our perfect friend. He is loving and giving. He knows us well, accepts us, and loves us. He has given His best and sacrificed for us. …. But we are His friends?

Is it even possible to be a friend and have friendship with the almighty God? It’s hard to get a grasp of His greatness, all his “omni’s” (omniscience, omnipotence, omnipresent) and think about Him wanting us for His friends. But according to Scripture, we can be called His friends.
James 2:23 - And the Scripture was fulfilled which says, "Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness." And he was called the friend of God.

Jesus said in John 15:14 You are My friends if you do whatever I command you..

Through Christ, we can have a friendship with Almighty GOD. We can communicate with Him, listen to Him, read His word, share our joys and sorrows, & trust in His care and comfort. Because of His great power, God may not “need” or rely on us, but He can and does use us to be His hands, feet, eyes, ears & mouth to help accomplish His will. When we obey Him, we show that we are friends with God.

So the next time you take the time to sit and relax under a nice shade tree, remember that friendship with God is the best sheltering tree that we could ask for.

©July 1, 2008 J-ME

Friendship is a Sheltering Tree

Today we had a secret pal reveal at my house. For the past 6 months, some of the ladies at church have been secret pals to others. It is a fun way to remember and to get to know others. I decided to do a devotional for it.

Since I have a particular tree out back that I really like the shape of, even though it's not very big yet, it always makes me think of the quote, "Friendship is a sheltering tree" by Samuel Coleridge. Anyway, that quote kept coming to mind, so that is what I did the devotion on. It turned out to be not so much about friendships among women, but how God is the ultimate friend, and our friendship with Him is the best sheltering tree we could have.

Is He your "sheltering tree"?

Friendship

Thanks to my friend, Lori, for this "Circle of Friends" award. It's nice to have friends that we can get together with personally, to chat with, shop with, have coffee with, etc., but I have found that my internet friends are very special too. Sometimes I am able to share more with them than I can with people I see day to day or weekly. Some of my best friends are internet friends. Not all of them have blogs, so I can't pass this on to them, but some of the ones I do think of are:
Jennifer, who makes me laugh with the way she has with words!
Ginny, who has been part of my circle of internet friends for a long time, and whom I have been blessed to meet twice!
Deby, who has also been a long time friend and has given me encouragement over the years.
Thanks to each of you for your friendship.

Moments with God

The other day I was scanning through a book and some thoughts came to mind about friendship. Have you ever had a friendship just up and end? That happened to me about 8 years ago. I didn't understand then and there are many times since then, that I have lamented over it and still been hurt at the rejection. God's still, small voice spoke to me once again, as it has in the past, "There was a reason, my child. You were too dependent on your friend. You were in a relationship that focused on the negatives. You weren't growing. I had to remove her from your life so you would return to Me." Well, of course I didn't hear those words audibly, but the message was clear.

My lesson not learned, I soon found myself lamenting over another issue, another "loss" in my life, and the years I spent yearning after something I didn't have (more than one child), I said to myself, "I always believed God would give me another child and He didn't." Almost immediately, I "heard" that chiding voice again, "Yes, I did." Then he brought to mind a lovely young woman whom He had brought into my life years ago when she was a teen, and has kept in my life. I'm her "Mumdie". She has given me a glimpse of what it would have been like to have a daughter.

Since then, I have gained a daughter-in-law, and there are the children who have passed my way through Sunday school and through substitute teaching - children whom I can reach out to with an encouraging word or a listening ear. Although they aren't my own, I can reach out with Jesus' love.

We may not understand God's ways, but I know His ways are right. Psalms 145:17