I've been thinking about "best friends" since working on a Bible study this am. Do you have a best friend?I know, Jesus should be our best friend, but I'm thinking one with "skin on," a human best friend. What I really want is a kindred spirit... Someone who shares my faith, who encourages me, who challenges me, who listens to me, who prays with me, who understands me, who has similar interests and someone whom I would do the same for.
Often I wonder why I don't have this type of relationship with anyone, or even a "best" friend.
When I was in high school, I had a best girl friend, but as things usually go, we went our different paths. Also, most of my really good friends were guys. Even in college, I can only think of one girl whom I would have called my "best friend. Again, we went different paths. In my adult years I had someone I considered a kindred spirit, but I wasn't good enough for her I guess, as she just stopped seeing me; yet she never told me what was wrong even when I asked, and I asked for forgiveness if I had offended her.
I have a few good friends, and I value them, but no one that is like what I see some others have. The getting together for the fun of it, dropping by, doing projects together, etc. My friends and I share a Bible study together, and sometimes we do other things together. Perhaps I am envisioning something that is too "ideal".
I know passages of life can hinder relationships. Now, I am at the stage of empty nest and between active caregiving for parents.
I do tend to be a loner. Perhaps that is it. Or is there something wrong with me? I consider myself loyal and honest. Aren't those good traits to have in a friend? Have I put up walls? Afraid to trust? That could be true.
I yearn for a kindred spirit nearby. The one person I consider a kindred spirit lives over 1500 miles away. I am thankful for internet, but it sure is hard to sit down for coffee and chat!
Am I having a pity party? Maybe, but seriously, I'm not looking for pity or sympathy. I'm just thinking out loud. Thoughts that I have from time to time. The fact is, I do get lonely sometimes. My husband is busy and out a lot. Men don't seem to have the same need for friendships as women do.
I know God has a lesson for me in all this. It's a lesson he's been trying to teach me for a few years now. I guess I am just a slow learner!
I just found an interesting article on womens' friendships.
Friendships are a good thing!I know I am not alone. I have made many good friends through the internet and email lists. I do cherish those. I know there are many among those people who desire the same thing - a real close friend who lives nearby ~ someone they can share the ups and downs of daily life with.
So, tell me. What about you? Are you blessed with a special friendship? How did it happen? Or, are you like me? Are you feeling a little lonely at times and wishing for that special bond with another woman, someone you can call a best friend?
Do you think those in "leadership" positions have a harder time of making a close friend?
9 comments:
Jamie, it seems like our experiences are similar. I think that people are so incredibly busy that they don't take time to form deep, meaningful relationships.
I am blessed to have rediscovered that my best friend lives under the same roof. My husband. But like you, I long for a female kindred spirit in my life, yet every time I try to get close to someone, for one reason or another, the relationships don't work out. The last time this happened, it definitely was for the best, and fortunately, I had yet to invest much into it.
I try to remember that God is always there, that I can talk to Him at any time, and tell Him things I wouldn't share even with a human best friend. God knows best, and I choose to trust Him with my friendships, too. But some days, it's hard.
i didn't really have any best friends growing up because my family moved so much. it was something i always longed for.
i didn't go to college (where i think a lot of long term friendships form) and my husband and i were married at 21. until our first was born, my friendships consisted of other couples. still longing for that one (or more) deep friendship.
it wasn't until my two kids were fairly young that i made friends with two ladies from church. they are still two of my best friends and we get together nearly every friday for lunch, or the movies, or shopping.
even though i know they will be lifelong friends, they are fairly shallow friendships as far as what we discuss. it's been around 12 years now and i've always longed for a deeper, more spiritual relationship with these two women. but that's not who they are and i have come to accept that. they're my "fun" friends and that's okay and even good.
then about 5 years ago i was invited to join a moms in touch group. the leader of the group and i clicked immediately and on every level that i can think of. our group meets every other week during the school year and that, as well as meeting for coffee at other times, has given us the opportunity to really get to know each other, and encourage and pray for each other. it's been wonderful.
there's only been two other women in the group for the past 2 years and the four of us have really bonded and have been there for each other. how i look forward to our get togethers.
i wish all women could experience these kinds of relationships. i think it's what we, as women, crave and need. i pray, j-me, that one day you will be find and enjoy the kind of friendship you're looking for.
(sorry this is so long)
hi there, I really enjoyed your article. I remember my grandmother telling me many years ago that during your lifetime you will probably count on one hand those friends who were the closest but you will have many nice aquaintances throughout the years. I have found this to be true so far. We have travelled around a bit over the years with my husbands job and friends come and go. We went on to have more children when friends had their pigeon pair and moved on to jobs, houses, cars and trips abroad. I do have three special friends now who are all different and all bring something special. Yes Jesus is my best friend then my husband, then my other friends.
I do believe in praying for good friends when I have need of them.
Internet friends have become special because I probably won't meet any of them until we are all in Glory!
Bless you and thank you for sharing as you did.
blessings Sandra in New Zealand
Thank you ladies for visiting, reading, and sharing.
Ginny, I have to admit that I thought of you as I wrote. I know some of the struggles you have had.
Diana, you hit the nail on the head. Yes! That's exactly the relationship Ii yearn for. I am so glad you have found those special friends - the kindred spirits.
Sandra, what fun to see how we can reach out through the current technology and "talk" with someone continents away! Thank you for sharing your grandmother's wisdom. I believe what she said is true, too. The only college friendship that has endured for me is with my husband! That's where we met. Thanks again for visiting.
Jaimie I know what you mean about best friends. I always wanted a best friend when I was growing up and I guess my sister fit the bill most of the time, but I wanted someone not family who was the same age. I had a best friend the last year of high school but we went our separate ways and she's passed on now. I do have good friends from nursing school and the military but they are way across the country, and I only hear from them at Christmas. Now my husband's cousin and I are going places together and are able to have fun together although she doesn't go out in the evening and we don't have a lot of interests that are the same. I guess it's just harder so make those connections as we get older. My mother-in-law stayed close to a friend from when she was in grade school through old age. My husband was pall bearer at her friend's funeral. Those friendships are just more difficult in today's mobile society. I hope you are lucky enough to meet some of you internet friends. I have and I think it's wonderful to be able to stay in touch with someone who lives a continent or more away.
Rose Ann
J-ME,
You are talking my language. Alan moved me down to AZ and away from my close friends. I made 3 friends down here, one I thought was just the kind of friend that is unreachable. She turned out to be destructive to me. The other 2 died last summer.
It is a very lonely world out there. But I am not going to give up. I want you to now that when I was back home I was very sorry you lived in Maine. If we were next door, I believe we would hve been that type of friend we all want so bad.
Rose, I think you are right about today's society. It is so easy to to move away now. People don't tend to stay in one place all their lives.
Sheila, It must have been so hard to move to an absolutely new place and so far from where you were!! I have great memories of the stamping pj party at your house in MA!! People thought I was nuts to go someplace 4 hrs away to stay with people I didn't know, just to go stamping!! LOL!!
We sure did have fun! Remember those two girls who asked if they could go in the pool and then came in stark naked and went into the hot tub. OMG I was mortified. I never even remembered their names.
That really was fun and I am so glad you traveled that distance. I still have the pin you made at the Machester Convention. Was that Xyron you were working for
Yes, Sheila, I do remember!! It was quite an evening. I enjoyed myself, had fun, and was glad I got to meet some of the other ladies on RubberArt. Stampers have fun! Oh! Remember going to Home Depot late at night for the "tool" boxes??!! LOL!
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